I have a TERRIBLE “panties in a wad” fear. The number of times I hear “Wow, that time of the month, huh?” or “Nice Hissy fit.” when I say something about something irksom a friend has done, or a situation that made me upset, is extremely aggrivating. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I can’t have “negative” feelings about something with out being over emotional, or insane, or a mix of both.

When a former guildy of mine (a young 15 or 16 something boy) asked why I had invited a woman to the guild because “We all agreed that women are to crazy to raid with us” I was extremely upset. We’d had a bad experience with a woman that HAD acted very badly and caused some silly drama, but no where along the line should her actions have caused a universal ban on women in guild. Just because a male guild mate rage-logs in the middle of every other raid, or spams guild chat with annoying hoopla, doesn’t mean that all men are the same and should recieve the mighty stroke of the ban hammer from the guild. I don’t say “No more shaman in raid” because some shaman did something lame and yada-yada-yada. That would be unreasonable. Interesting how that logic doesn’t translate to women players when someone acts poorly. Or, maybe I’ve just got my panties in a twist.

It’s especially frustrating that instead of backing you up, your GM just asks you to step down. I would be sooooo furious.

But on the flip side, the joke was uncalled for, as was all the BS that followed.

And I had to give up the officer position 2 weeks ago because I was never taken seriously and was in serious risk of breaking down. I grew very defensive after a few months and ended up quite aggressive sometimes.

I still wonder what I should have done, how I should have reacted, yada yada… I talked a lot, with my GM first (he’s the one who “asked” me to give up officer position, but him being the boss, he actually took the decision alone.), I talked with another officer, with my boyfriend (who is a guildie too), with other people in SAN who have been extremely supportive (thanks Tam).

I found you post very interesting and insightful actually. I often feel that I need to be better just because I’m a girl, not complaining or raging because someone would ask if I’m “in the bad period”…

And I agree with one of the commenters above who said the officer responding to the application “because of the joke” is quite to blame, because it’s often because other guildies or officers tend to not be careful with that that new people in the guild don’t see (or care) where the line is. They don’t realise that you will accept this joke from a friend because you know him well, but not from strangers…

What annoys me is that several of my female guildies don’t speak up on vent for fear of being drawn attention to. It’s not that we’re a bunch of sexist chauvinists but their own history of playing in wow. Sure we’ve had our own distinct share of stereotypes (attention starved or terrible players) but I think it’s almost a disservice to the good well adjusted players who feel that they have to lay low. Admittedly one of them jokes that it’s because she doesn’t want Team Virgin wiping the raid because they heard a girl on vent.

I’m sometimes offensive and I’m the first to admit it. If I upset a guildie with a comment I’ll apologise if I think it’s appropriate – I also tend to wait before I introduce people to the banter in vent. Do I feel I have to recognise people’s rights to be offended? Pretty much no, just as they have the right to deem what I’m saying as out of order it’s simple logic that I have the same rights to consider it fine. But that’s a socially inept decision that doesn’t work in a guild. Different stuff offends different people. Someone with particularly thin skin could be a very annoying person to raid with as tempers often run high after a lot of wipes.

Joining a guild with a joke like that? Stupid idea and its a sign of how young he is that he tried to laugh it off with further comments.

I wouldn’t have, um, prioritized others above him if he were part of my healing assignment or if he was crucial to the fight (in this case, trash), but still, no excuses.

Not healing him in a raid was poor behavior, imo. If he does his job in the raid, you should as well.

If he offends you, refuse to raid with him.

Also it depends on my mood that day. My guildies like to tease me about my bad tanking. Sometimes its funny, other days I’m quick to shut them up.