Since I Guess the Word is Out Anyway

How I imagined leaving my guild:

Me: OMG I’M SO MAD QQ I’M LEAVING I’M PISSED OFF I HATE EVERYONE!!!!OMG I’M SO MAD QQ I’M LEAVING I’M PISSED OFF I HATE EVERYONE!!!!OMG I’M SO MAD QQ I’M LEAVING I’M PISSED OFF I HATE EVERYONE!!!!OMG I’M SO MAD QQ I’M LEAVING I’M PISSED OFF I HATE EVERYONE!!!!OMG I’M SO MAD QQ I’M LEAVING I’M PISSED OFF I HATE EVERYONE!!!!OMG I’M SO MAD QQ I’M LEAVING I’M PISSED OFF I HATE EVERYONE!!!!OMG I’M SO MAD QQ I’M LEAVING I’M PISSED OFF I HATE EVERYONE!!!!OMG I’M SO MAD QQ I’M LEAVING I’M PISSED OFF I HATE EVERYONE!!!!

GM: *files restraining order*

How it actually happened:

Me: Hey, I’m gquitting.

GM: Ok.

How I imagined the aftermath:

Me: I’m relieved! No wait, I’m sad! Did I make the right decision? I’m scared! Does everyone hate me? Am I ever going to find another guild? Oh noes! I’m still really mad! I don’t know what to do!

Everyone else: STFU and get lost, we hate you.

What the aftermath was really like:

Me:
I sure feel like playing Civ V right now.

Everyone else: Hey, if you need some referrals, I have some friends in guilds that are looking for a healer.

Me: Cool, thanks.

It was quite possibly the smoothest gquit in the history of gquits. I mean, other than back 5 years ago when I played once every two weeks and frequently found myelf invited to random guilds that died by the next time I logged in. Dead guild gquits usually go over pretty well.

I’d been toying with the idea for awhile, as I went about my day making grocery lists of things I was unsatisfied with and incidents I couldn’t get over. The harder I tried to make it better, the worse it got. Then one night, as I groggily and nauseously waiting for my 10:30 pm raid invite that, as usual, was late going out, it suddenly dawned on me: “Why the hell am I doing this to myself?

Technically I’m still on standby until Monday, but they’re pretty full on healers and they’re kind of uneasy about calling me in the middle of the night to raid, so I’m not expecting to be dragged out of bed.

It is…very….um…well it just is. I was really happy in Conquest for a really long time, but I was very angry over a few incidents for about a month. I think the bitter taste in my mouth helped me accept that, in life, people come and go. I don’t even miss the good times. I’m glad that I had them. Some of my favorite nights have been on Vent/Mumble, sipping on wine and laughing with guildies. But something in me changed. Even when I see my ex-guildies mentioning drunken Mumble nights on Twitter, I’m not sad or envious. I know that now, if I were there, with them, I wouldn’t be having any fun.

I have hard feelings over some stuff that happened. Mostly in the mornings. That’s just how I am, I’ve had a chronic case of pissed-off-in-the-mornings-itis since birth. But I’m also grateful. My guildies promptly recommended me to different guilds, and recommended their friends’ guilds to me. My buddy Equis (WHO NEEDS TO UPDATE HIS BLOG), especially, has been great in proving me to me that I don’t need to be logged to WoW every hour of the night to be in touch with friends I met in WoW. In spite of all the frustrations lately, I still feel like I left on a high note.

But mostly I’m just thrilled to have time to myself. It’s such a weird feeling. I have time for me. For me. Me.

Like, I can come home, and do anything I want.

ANYTHING!

Since I’ve always been a student, my schedule has always consisted of: schoolwork until 9:30pm, then raid (before raiding it was TV or bed), 7 days a week. Now I play other games (Civ V is trying to kill me!), I cook, I read. I even went to the movies. WITH A BOY. A cute one. I’m moving at the end of the semester so nothing is going to come of it, but it’s still nice to feel like a human being for a short moment in time.

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49 Comments on “Since I Guess the Word is Out Anyway”

  1. Naithin Says:

    I’m so glad it’s all worked out for you and that it’s ended up giving you some time for yourself!

    ‘Me’ time is important, so certainly glad yer getting some at last!

    • Ophelie Says:

      And I’ll get working on that post I promise ;D

      • Naithin Says:

        It’s all good. :)

        I’m done with first (and second) draft of the one for you, was wondering how/when you wanted to do the exchange actually.

        Should I email it to ya?

        • Ophelie Says:

          Sure. I’m slowly working on yours. Meant to do it last night, but I fell asleep at 6pm and slept right through until the next morning. Guess I was pretty tired.

          • Naithin Says:

            No problem, no rush. :)

            I’ll email it to you now then. WP is usually fairly good about copying with formatting and the like in tact, only thing I know you’ll likely need to adjust are the headings as they often copy out with just a bold tag rather than header.

            Inc in mail now!

  2. Windsoar Says:

    I’m glad your guild break went smoothly and you’re getting a chance to enjoy some things non-WoW related to boot!

    • Rhii Says:

      I thought the same thing. Having been in a situation where I felt married to my guild before the line gave me a bit of a chill. I’m not sure I want a guild to be a lifelong commitment.

      Then the ensuing officer drama you posted about made me feel like someone desperately trying to hold onto a relationship they know is already over. It’s better to just get out and get it over with.

      Why are guild relationships so comparable to romances? XD

      • Ophelie Says:

        Ah, I didn’t mean it as a lifelong commitment, but as a more involved commitment. I loved the guild and I felt I had a lot to contribute. It ended up not being a possibility (like you said, trying to hold onto a relationship I knew was over) so I had to leave.

        I actually did do a post about how we perceive our guilds. I came to the conclusion that having a romance with one’s guild isn’t the healthiest thing in the world, hehe. It never works out.

    • Ophelie Says:

      Yep, that was the beginning of the end.

      Though I’m happy to say that guild chat did improve in quality, so it’s at least that.

  3. ladyerinia Says:

    woohoo! I am so glad you can take some time for yourself now.

    As you know, I’m dealing with guild things too (<3), and I can only hope that things will patch up, or that I can leave without feeling guilty.

    Part of me even wants to quit WoW for a while. I *cough* renewed my netflix today just in case.

    Still…gquitting is hard. It's something I dread doing and I always feel like such a bitch when I do leave. See above: guilt. I guess I'll have plenty of things to talk about with my therapist on tuesday. I better email her beforehand with a list of terminology.

    • Ophelie Says:

      I suppose that if there’s one upside to leaving out of anger, it’s that I’m the one who feels let down and therefore I don’t feel guilty in the slightest. I know I should for the friends who did their best to cheer me up, but even they acknowledged that the best thing for me is to move on.

      If you feel like you need a break from WoW altogether, go for it. You can come back whenever you want. Or roll some alts with your friends as something non-guildy to do together.

  4. shopshopshop Says:

    Yeah, having time for you is pretty awesome. Raiding right now is pretty light schedule-wise for me, and that’s the only way I will do it. I raid twice a week, and any more than that would be way too much. Being able to relax after work instead of just prepparing for raid = win.

    • Ophelie Says:

      I’m in the process of chatting with a twice a week, 10 man guild who’s looking for a back up healer and I’m really excited about it. While I’m probably a 25 man hardcore raider at heart, it’ll be nice to have a raid schedule that lets me enjoy both the game and my life for a few months.

  5. Janyaa Says:

    Sounds like it ended in the best possible way. I’m glad you’re getting some time to focus on yourself and some non-WoW stuff. Enjoy it! The game will always be here when you want to come back. :)

    <3,
    Janyaa

    • Ophelie Says:

      Thanks! You that when you’re biggest worry is “will I be too far behind on gear if I quit raiding”, it’s time to take it easy.

  6. Entropia Says:

    Glad you’re able to do what you wanted to do, there’s a time for everyone to quit the game.

    The last time I tried quitting, I got home from work, then said, “now what?”… then immediately went back on WoW.

    It’s amazing how addicting this game is, even if you’re just on to socialize.

    • Ophelie Says:

      The funny thing is that I didn’t even try to quit. It just happened. I plan on slowly easing myself back into the game, but the outside world is just so damn interesting.

  7. Maoridin Says:

    I Have not gquit myself, not sure i need to. What did happen though was my status in the guild changed. From Core Raider ( /best paladin healer ever also known as that one guy you could never do without….. hahaha in my mind) was changed to Social…… was werid to see it there “social” but it was the truth my game play my game time has changed. The wrath me would have freaked. Waiting late for raids,not spending anywhere the time i should with my GF how she put up with it i have no idea. Me post shattering is dam fine with it. Change is good and im stoked that your gquit was smooth and painless. Hope you have endless fun with YOU time. Holiday in NZ maybe? while its still warm? hahaha

    cheers

    • Ophelie Says:

      OMG a holiday in NZ! Someday!

      I don’t think I’m ready to completely throw in the towel for serious raiding, but it’ll be nice to just have fun for now, at least until my life settles down a bit.

  8. LarĂ­sa Says:

    It sounds as if you did exactly the right thing.
    Movies+cute boy > WoW.

    I think you’ll be just fine. Hugs!

    • Ophelie Says:

      Thanks!

      I do feel relieved. And it’s so nice to feel motivated to do things again. For so long it’s just been school and WoW.

  9. Anabella Says:

    I know that heady feeling when you get off the grinding wheel and just smell the roses. When I stopped raiding, my apartment suddenly got much cleaner, my meals got cooked, and I even get to go out occasionally.

    The only thing I do nowadays is raid AH, which is an /afk activity. Suits me fine.

    And – a boy! Wohoo! :D

  10. Soph/Elsen Says:

    It’s a very, very hard thing to do, especially to strike off into the unknown.
    However it most certainly sounds like it is something you were right to do and you’ve made the right decision which will allow you to find some quiet time to do what you want.
    Best of luck, and it’s guaranteed you’ll find somewhere new to call home soon I’m sure :)
    Soph

    • Ophelie Says:

      I’ve actually been chatting with a guild (well, with a representative of the guild, not the entire guild, of course) and I’m pretty sure I’ll have a good home for the next while. I’m not even sure why I was so hesitant to leave. I guess I was still too attached to the good times…it took almost puking from exhaustion to make me realize that I was being silly.l

  11. bleuchz Says:

    Wows a funny thing. You meet a lot of people, some you like. You play a grindy game, some of it you like. Sometimes it is hard to keep that balance in perspective. Sometimes the people and things you don’t like take over. I’ve been thinking about taking time off from the game but I’m a sucker for the people I meet. I only knew you for two months and I have creepily stalked Ur blog since :S.

    • Ophelie Says:

      Blogs are meant to be read, it’s not creepy ^_^

      Usually it is the people who keep me roped into the game. The game itself is nice, but kind of repetitive. It’s the people who make it worthwhile. The good side of /gquits is that you get the in-between guilds time to refresh yourself.

  12. Iris Says:

    I think when something that is a hobby stops being fun, you should re-evaluate and make a change. I understand it can be scary to let go of something like a guild (especially if you don’t know exactly how it’s going to happen or what will happen next) so I’m glad things went well for you.

    I once read some advice (totally unrelated to WoW, more like a general life thing): if you are dissatisfied with a situation (applies to anything from being in a guild, to being cold while waiting at a bus stop) you have three options 1. Extract yourself from the situation. 2. Change the situation. 3. Accept the situation completely. It’s something I try to remind myself of when I am faced with a difficult situation or decision and it really helps.

    • Ophelie Says:

      That reminds me of the AA mantra:

      God, grant me the serenity
      To accept the things I cannot change,
      Courage to change the things I can,
      and wisdom to know the difference.

      I’ve never experienced alcoholism, but it’s a mantra that’s gotten me through many tough times.

      I think the hard part with the gquit was accepting that I wasn’t ever going to get that old enthusiasm back again. Once I reached that acceptance phase, it all worked out. And if I was able to be really enthusiast about two guilds in the past, I know I can find it again with another guild :)

  13. AliPally Says:

    Raiding is the most fun thing in WoW for me, but 7 days a week? No wonder you are burning out. We raid at most 3 nights a week, and that leaves me plenty of time for RL goodies, like movies and boys!

    • Ophelie Says:

      Ah, I was exaggerating a little with the raiding part. I was raiding 3-4 nights a week, but playing 7. When Cataclysm came out, playing during my raiding offnights went from being what I wanted to do to what I felt I had to do to keep up. But even when I really enjoyed raiding, the fact that I had so little free time outside of school meant that playing WoW took up just about all of that free time.

  14. saif Says:

    Man – I remember when I had to take a step back from Raid Leading two groups 4 nights a week on my main and my alt. It was such a liberating feeling to log in and play when I want, as I want, just PuGing or running with friends.

    Good luck! Sounds like a good time for a break. :)

  15. Fannon Says:

    I’m sure I’m not the only one saying this, but I’m certain that you’ll find a new guild that fits you. There are too many great people and guilds out there to stay in a situation that makes you unhappy, especially when it interferes with your real life.

    The doors to Shadowgarde are open, Ophelie. You are welcome anytime. :)

  16. Kimboslice Says:

    For the love of god sleep with that poor boy at least

  17. Brangwen Says:

    Oh wow. I get it entirely. But I honestly didn’t understand how on EARTH you STARTED raiding at 1030pm! I couldn’t do that – MS says no :(

    Find a guild that suits your lifestyle!! Fun > bosskilling imo. Fun includes RL ;)

    Which reminds me, I have a blog post to write.

    • Ophelie Says:

      I’d go to bed as soon as I got home from work and get up at 10 pm to get ready for the raid. It sucked, it really did.

      I’m looking forward to reading new blog posts from you. Seems like you’ve super busy lately, I’ve missed you!

  18. Joe Ego Says:

    Don’t take this the wrong way, but try not to sell yourself short: find a man. I’m even willing to bet a Canadian man is better than a boy. Probably.

    • Ophelie Says:

      SEMANTICS!

      Saying “I went to the movies with a man” just doesn’t sound right. When playing the part of the nervous girl who doesn’t get out much, I have to play it ALL THE WAY!

      I actually have a pretty good idea of the kind of partner I want. That’s why I’m single ;D

  19. Anafielle Says:

    Seems like we’re all in the same position these days. Good luck to you!

    • Ophelie Says:

      I noticed you mention something on Twitter, but I wasn’t sure! I don’t follow Twitter really closely. It suddenly feels like guild changing season.

      Thanks for the good luck wishes! Best of luck to you too, although from what I’m told about your tanking, I’m sure you won’t need it ^_^.

  20. Lykkos Says:

    I thank you for your inspiration and your welcoming attitude the whole time I was in guild with you. Even in leaving you still were there as a team player, willing to be standby until the last raid. I wish you well on your endeavors outside of WoW and have a feeling that you’ll either continue here or still make some appearances in game.

    • Ophelie Says:

      Thank you for your kind words. It’s kind of sad that you joined at the time you did. I promise I’m usually way more fun! It was great meeting you and I hope you stick around as a pally blogger.

      I’m staying on the server for now as a back up healer for Team Sport, so if you ever want some pally chat or a BG buddy, just let me know!

  21. Jaedia Says:

    Really happy for you that you have a bit more time to yourself! Looking at your schedule the other day sounded like you need it a bit. Hope everything goes well for you :)

    • Ophelie Says:

      Thanks! I do kind of miss progression raiding, but having time to myself and joining a small friendly guild has been really refreshing.


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