This Is Me, Making Fun of People Who Gank Me

I know it’s somewhat unconventional, but I don’t really mind being ganked. I don’t kill others (partly because my ego would never recover from the embarrassment of loosing), but, yeah, if someone kills me, I’m sort of annoyed, but, you know, it’s part of playing on a PvP server.

When I die, I run back. If I’m getting corpse camped, I entertain my opponent with my awe-inspiring alt-tabbing out madskillz. (I guarantee you they get fed up before I do.) I don’t sweat the small stuff.

But know what I learned pretty fast?

Most gankers are stupid. Like really stupid. Like really, really stupid. I suppose that picking on weaker than thou typically is compensation for a lack of strength upstairs, but I never cease to be amazed at exactly how lacking upstairs some these people are.

So for your educational pleasure, I will teach three lessons I learned from being ganked, as well as some pointers for gankers looking to become less mock-worthy.

A note for you picky semantics folks (picky semantics folks like me), I realize that the word “gank” has a broad spectrum of meanings. It can mean grouping up to kill someone, it can mean killing someone who doesn’t stand a chance (like a lowbie), it can even mean corpse camping. (Sources include Urban Dictionary, Wowwiki and Wiktionary) We’ll say it means attacking someone when you have the unfair advantage. And since I’m a poor pathetic, pvp naive little holy pally, we’ll say than any attempts to kill me will be called “ganking”.

1- The Stranglethorn Rogue

When I do Archeology in the low level zones, I like the Holy Radiance run bonus of the Holy Spec. I rarely get attacked, so self-defense isn’t a concern.

One day in Stranglethorn, I was a bit startled to see flashes around me. Going by the debuffs on my frames, it looked like one of those rogues who move like wasps.

Sigh. I Holy Shocked myself and thought about what to do. He didn’t seem to be damaging me much, but my holy spec is very much for healing. It takes me a year to kill a level 82 mob, there’s nothing I can do to decked out level 85 rogue.

I healed myself again and figured I might as well fight back a little bit. As I went to judge him, he vanished.

I looked around for him. I mean, by then my heart was pounding. I was ready to go down with a fight. But no, nowhere.

It occurred to me afterward that while I’d never kill him, I’d obliterate his nerves with my healing loooong before I run out of mana. Stupid rogue.

What I learned: Even if I can’t do damage in world PvP, I’m still far more annoying than any rogue.

Ganking 101: Check the mana bar before you leap.

2- The Feralas Druid

I don’t get attacked often during Archeology, but it does happen. This apparition out of nowhere was a Druid. He took me by surprise. I was in Prot spec this time. A spec for digging in Uldum that I hadn’t really played yet. I couldn’t heal my way to giving him a nervous breakdown so I would have to either let him kill me or fight back the old fashioned way.

His critty kitty was doing quite a bit of damage to me. My tanking spec was a nice copy of something I’d borrowed from Rhidach, but unfortunately blogs don’t offer a gear borrowing service.

I forced myself to remember how to PvP. The #1 Rule of PvP? Be as annoying as you can. Seal of Justice is pretty annoying. I put that up. Kitties do physical damage. Devotion Aura is annoying to physical damage dealers. Stuns are annoying. Especially stuns while standing in crap. I smacked him with Hammer of Justice and dropped a Consecration under his feet.

It occurred to me that I might be able to go down with a fight. I reset the match with a Lay on Hands and flexed my brain about how to play Prot. My heart was pounding and the blood was starting to get in the way of my thinking. Pounding… If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s keybindings. I was shaking too bad to hit the buttons, but if I formed a fist with my hand…

It was facerolling (well, fistrolling) at it’s finest. Even switching to bear form couldn’t save this guy from my fancy keyboard work.

I looked at his corpse in shock. I’d never killed a max level character on my own before. Keybindings or not, PvP dps isn’t my forte. This guy clearly had no idea what he was doing. Why, then, did he try to kill me? What an idiot.

What I learned: When you have good keybindings, you don’t need to know which button to push. Just make a fist and pound, pound, pound.

Ganking 101: Even if your gankee is a total n00b, you still need to have some basic knowledge of how to play to kill them.

3- The Felwood Paladin

Archeology again. I swear I don’t get attacked often! It’s just that the few times I run into pests, I happen to digging up crap.

This time, I was level 67. The flying Shield from the Skull-level paladin knocked me down to under 20%, his flying Hammer finished me off. Sigh.

I don’t mind being ganked, but, man, he made me loose some Night Elf fragments. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW PRECIOUS NIGHT ElF FRAGMENTS ARE? DO YOU??????

As I was running back, I peaked at my combat log. His name was “Jizzin.”

I did a double check. Jizzin? As in ejaculate? Oh. Emm. Gee. Most blatant TOS violation EVAIRE.

Two can play at this being a pest game, oh yes. Two hours later, a Blizzard GM answered my ticket saying that “they take name complaints very seriously” and that “measures have been taken”.

What I learned: Payback doesn’t always require power.

Ganking 101: Don’t make revenge so damn easy!

I’m Just a PvE Girl Livin’ in a PvP World

In my time on PvP servers, I’ve learned that:

1) Ganking doesn’t happen as often as you’d think. Most people just ignore each other, especially during Archaeology.
2) Those who practice Ganking usually aren’t part of Azeroth’s intellectual elite.

But hopefully this little bit of snarky wisdom has contributed to educate gankers everywhere, allowing their ganking experience to be more fulfilling. Remember, though, that while I don’t make fun of people often, anyone with ganker status is fair game to eternal mockery.

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27 Comments on “This Is Me, Making Fun of People Who Gank Me”

  1. Rades Says:

    Nothing uplifts the spirits more than turning the tables on a ganker who doesn’t know how to gank. I think my favorite ganker moment was when my BM hunter (relevant) was strolling along somewhere and got sapped. Well, you can still direct your pet if you’re sapped, as long as you have their attack commands bound to mouseover bindings, so I sicced my pet on him. He completely panicked and didn’t know what to do in a fair fight, and the pet killed him WHILE I WAS STILL SAPPED. Whenever I am disgruntled I think of this moment, and laugh and laugh.


  2. Any rogue that doesn’t know how to Garrote, Kick, Kidney Shot, or use any of the other plethora of ways he can mess with your casting deserves to have his License to Stab revoked.

    • Ophelie Says:

      Yeah, but Holy Shock, Word of Glory, Every Man for Himself, Lay on Hands, Enlightened Judgments, Hand of Freedom and Cleanse are all insta casts.


  3. Oh, and sorry to be that guy, but it’s “Feralas,” not “Faralas.”

  4. ironyca Says:

    Haha your post was hilarious. I like your style of revenge, good one!

  5. SmashNHeal Says:

    While I play on a PvE server, I do a bit of PvP and the 5 minute timer has caught me more than once in a non-PvP area still flagged and ripe for the ganking. Thanks for making me laugh on a Tuesday morning.

    BTW, if you have any desire to pick up Goblin Engineering, you can make a fun toy called Big Daddy that gives you a nice little ranged stun so you can get in close for your own ganking. It’s an AoE stun, so fun to use when you are bumrushing the flag in BGs too.

    • Ophelie Says:

      I’ll probably never end up leveling another profession, but its a cool idea!

      I find that PvE servers are actually worse for ganking. It’s like they’re so starved for a flagged player that they’ll swarm anything they see. On a PvP server, flagged players a dime a dozen and with the exception of epic summoning stone battles, most people can’t be arsed to kill others.

  6. Oestrus Says:

    I remember the last guild I was in while I was Oestrus was an RP-PVP server and I don’t think I ever left Dalaran if I could possibly help it.

    I’m not opposed to PVP. But doing it when I don’t have a say in it or I don’t have the choice to not participate really puts me off. I find I’m not as prepared and then people think they properly “beat” me, when I know for a fact they probably wouldn’t have a chance if I really wanted it.

    • Ophelie Says:

      I used to worry a lot about being ganked when I started playing on a PvP, but after a year and after having played a lot of lowbies, I discovered that world PvP is so rare that it’s really not worth stressing over. Even when Cata came out and the whole server was hanging out in the same zone, most of the damage I took from fellow players was accidental. People just can’t be arsed to kill others.

      I know that I’m the one who usually doesn’t stand a chance (except maybe in my prot spec – I’m not specced for damage in holy and I don’t know how to do those circle things in ret) so I don’t even bother preparing for the rare occasion I might get jumped.

  7. repgrind Says:

    Thanks for the laughs! This post really made my day.

    So far, I have only been ganked once on my PvP server, and that was early in the xpac when everyone and their dog was in the Cata starting zones. I’ve seen a couple of enemies while I was out digging on my 40-something, but no one has bothered with me yet.

    • Ophelie Says:

      Yeah, I’ve been killed a few times, but not often, even on my lowbie. I’ve even gone for prolonged afk sessions and being shocked upon returning that I was still alive.

  8. sirfwalgman Says:

    Nice post. I also have done the “bad name” revenge. BWAHAHAHA!

  9. AliPally Says:

    I once got ganked by a guy called something like Mudderfokker. I reported him, thinking I was going to have the last laugh, but I saw him again a few weeks later, still with the same name…

    • Ophelie Says:

      Just report him again!

      I think Blizzard only interferes with a name if someone complains and I’ve heard stories of people just reusing the same name. With my Jizzin guy, even if he kept his name, I don’t care. The important thing is that he was probably inconvenienced for a few minutes, which is exactly what I was going for.

  10. Janyaa Says:

    What a fun read, Ophelie. :) I’ve never actually been ganked before, but after reading this, I almost wish I had just so I’d have a fun story to tell!

  11. I Am A Taco Rawr Says:

    So this one time, I popped out of a BG on my mage (I play on a PvE server), and I noticed I’d been hit with Living Bomb, at first I thought something spell reflected me, then I turned around to see this belf mage throwing stuff at me…
    A battle of epic proportions ensued, I won.

    Then he got his main…

    • Ophelie Says:

      Haha, oops! I always get out of the way after I kill someone (well, the rare times I kill someone).

      I remember this one time, a lowbie kept taunting and mocking me in Booty Bay. Since he was asking to be killed, I killed him and corpse camped him for a bit. The entire time, all I was thinking “any second, he’s going to show up with his main and all his friends…” But for whatever reason, he didn’t. To this day, I don’t understand it.

  12. Gina Says:

    Ow I’ve always wanted to try a pvp realm, especially walking around in full arena gear lawl
    But, yeah, pve it’s always been and even though my holidan is in arena gear and I find it fun to pvp, not sure i’d like it constantly interrupting my gameplay.

    Maybe I’d feel different if I didnt just utterly suck at dps. Or had rolled a rogue. :)

    • Ophelie Says:

      You actually don’t get attacked very often on PvP servers. I can probably count the number of times I’ve been attacked in my year and a half of PvP servering on my fingers. I think almost everyone looks at world PvP as hassle, kind of like killing mobs to reach a quest item. So unless you run into a really bored person, you mostly get left alone.

  13. xylotism Says:

    This post made me laugh, great job. It’s true, even on a PvP server, gankers aren’t really good at ganking.

    On my priest I just fear them, throw up DoTs and run away like a little girl. They end up too busy chasing me to see that their health is dropping.

    • Ophelie Says:

      Hahaha, that’s been my experience with priests. They’re like water: deadly and untouchable.

      When I was leveling my baby priest, I always felt like she’d make a great pvp character since she has all these spells to annoy others. And that’s the key to success in PvP (IMO, of course): annoying others.

  14. zwinglisblog Says:

    This rocks on so many levels. I remember one of the first times I won a pvp fight. I was genuinely surprised! I’m such a pvp-n00b. :)

    Z


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