This week’s Shared Topic is another of those creative types! Sephrenia from Guild Mum asks, if we were a raid boss, what sort of boss would we be? Check out the thread at Blog Azeroth to see how everyone else answered the topic!
If you are looking for my boss form, you can find her roaming the streets of undead Stratholme, exploring the corners and grieving for all those who have fallen to the Scourge.
As for her appearance, I have to say, I’ve always felt a deep connection with the gigantic women bosses in WoW. Bosses like the Maiden of Virtue in Kara or Maiden of Grief in Halls of Stone. I suppose being the tallest kid in school most of my life has taught me to empathize with other tall ladies.
Except for instead of that silly staffmace thingy, I would totally be smacking the main tank with my Giant Spoon. My emotes would be along the lines of “Do you want the spoon? DO YOU WANT IT????“
Me, though, I’m used to working with small children. My summer/part time jobs have always involved teaching or being a camp counselor. See, I happen to love kiddie games. If I were a boss, a big part of my mechanics would involve a favorite game of mine:
Every minute, I call out a number between 2 and 5. Raiders have a few seconds to group up according to that number. For example, if I call out three, they have to get into groups of three. Anyone who isn’t in a group of the correct number would be transformed into a stone figurine and stored on my shelf.
I squeal with glee at the drama that would arise from guilds deciding who will have to be sacrificed first.
Another of my featured mechanics would be my unrequited love of singing. As much as I enjoy singing at the top of my lungs, singing, unfortunately, does not enjoy me. Nor does the raid, as they flee in terror and attack each other every time my boss-self bursts into song.
Since I don’t want to be a one tank fight, I would have a chance on hit to put a “submissive” debuff on the tank every time I wack him. Once the debuff reaches a stack of 5, that player becomes completely submissive and must do my bidding. Think madness on the Yogg fight. To avoid becoming my slave, the tanks must taunt me back and forth.
I guess I should give the raid healers a little something to do as well. I’ll admit, I’d love to have fire summoning skills. Whenever my frustration builds up too much….bang! Half the raid gets hit by my angry fireball of doom! Hey, don’t want those non-pally healers to be bored!
As for loot…
Loot is always touchy. I would drop a Giant Spoon, for sure. In case you were wondering, a Giant Spoon is a 2-hander that’s classified as a mace. Otherwise, I would drop trinket. Wonderful, awesome, lovely trinkets that do nothing but be cool. Along the lines of the Deputy Pa’trolla Badge or the Super Simian Sphere.
Oh, I suppose I could drop a mount and a pet, just so that people would venture to my lair to kill me. I’m thinking of a pretty, flying mount. The style of the gorgeous Ashes of Al’ar comes to mind. As for a pet, I adore the Ammen Vale Lashling, but that already exists… Maybe a slightly more aggressive flower. A carnivorous plant that gobbles down critters. Oh yeah!
So what do you say? Do you have what it takes to defeat the Bossy Pally and her Giant Spoon?