Secret Santa Guest Post: 5 Tips to make your healer happy, applies in Dungeons & Raids!

[EDIT by Ophelie] I’m really excited. I received a Secret Santa guest post from Nicegrl for Christmas! (And now I look like a slacker since I haven’t written my Secret Santa guest post yet.) Seems like she spends as much time as I do pugging heroics. I got a good laugh from her post and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.

Hello everyone I am Nicegrl guest posting for Bossy Pally. As most of you in Blog Azeroth community know, it is time for Secret Santa: Version 2010. I thought “Yay, this is fun” and signed up filled with joy. Until I got my mail: “You’ve been paired up!‏” (with a moderator of Blog Azeroth, so you better write something perfect or we will find you and make sure your blog just.. dies and your druid too) So I went into the fetal position, (as most healthy and normal people would after getting a challenge like this) and thought long and hard what my post would be about. Hope you guys enjoy it.

5 Tips to make your healer happy, applies in Dungeons & Raids!

After having spent sometime in Cataclysm HCs, I thought I’d share some advice that I picked up from my experiences with expert PuG DPSes. Please give all credit to them for the contents of this post, as they were the source of such invaluable tips. Since me and Bossy Pally are both healers, I will explain from the perspective of a healer how you guys (as Tanks and DPS) can help us in instances and raids to make it a much more pleasant healing experience. Consider this your Christmas gift!

Step One: DO stand in the fire! In order to get out of the fire, you must move. Moving is bad, since you might get out of range of your healer. Getting out of range of your healer is bad, so don’t move. Flawless logic.

Step Two: Help the tank by attacking and taking aggro from a ranged mob/add. If one is being crowd controlled, this one is your first choice (see step 3). Remember, less damage on the tank is less damage the healer has to heal! Where might the rest of the damage go, you may ask. No one knows… No one knows…

Step Three: Crowd controlling (CCing) is for wusses. Overpower your enemy!

Take, for example, this great conversation I had in a random Heroic:
Tank: Who can CC?
Priest: ….r u kiddin?
Shaman: I’ll do it.

The Shaman is clearly a wuss. The Priest had Light Of The Dawn (Killing Lich King Heroic 25 man) so he must be right. Because having Light Of The Dawn means you’re automatically right… in everything! Also, your healer will run out of mana if you CC the mobs, because the fight lasts longer attacking mobs one at a time. Again, flawless logic.

Step Four: When a tank marks a target with a skull, DON’T ATTACK IT! Skulls signify danger, so you should attack any other mob but it. This also helps you accomplish step number 2!

Step Five: Tactics are for noobs. Leroy Jenkins got the job done when he ran into the whelp room and survived it all. For example, if the tank says you should concentrate on attacking the adds or move when the boss charges, don’t listen. There is no such thing as an immune boss, so just keep attacking it! If your interface pops up with messages indicating the boss is immune, just ignore it. It’s just the boss tricking you.

Bonus Tip: If all else fails, blame your healer. A wipe occurs when everyone’s HP runs out. It’s the healer’s job to heal. Therefore, the healer is to blame. Use this line as mathematical proof that you standing in the fire did not cause the wipe. If they try to explain otherwise, call them retards and /ragequit.

With the best wishes for a happy Christmas to you all!

Love nicegrl.com

I’ll Call These Yhpurm Days

It all started when I queued up for the daily battground and got Alterac Valley.

See, I rarely win in BGs. I mean, I go weeks without getting the daily done. But the other day, I queued up for the daily BG and got Alterac Valley. Alterac Valley that I haven’t won in months.

Then we won in Alterac Valley. First random BG of the day, Alterac Valley and I won. I couldn’t believe my luck. You don’t understand. This never happens.

Then, I needed some more honour so I queue up again.

Warsong Gulch.

Uggg.

I hate Warsong Gulch. It goes like this: Me in the enemy flag room, 4 people dead in the graveyard and 5 fighting in the middle.

It started out the usual way, but then it got better. Then we won.

2. Out. Of. 2. Battlegrounds. Won. I marked it on the calenders. Clearly, this is a day where the gods smiled upon us and it should be celebrated again, year after year for the rest of time.

I was still short some points so I queue again. Alterac Valley. Again.

The gods just kept smiling. We won. Hell froze over and all was well in the afterworld.

It should have ended there. It should have, but it didn’t. It was time for the raid and our first attempt (that I’m aware of) on Heroic Dreamwalker.

Can you guess how that ended?

Yes. One shot. We one shot our first attempt on Heroic Dreamwalker. (Which, from a portal healer point of view, wasn’t much different from regular except for the orbs are red and I have to keep an eye on my health. One of the outside healers commented that heroic actually seemed easier than regular, possibly because everyone was being extra disciplined.)

The good night kept up as we killed Lich King on 25 man, the second or third (I forget!) time for the guild and the first time for me.

Shortly after, I decided to go do some dailies. My heart skipped a beat as that hunter over there, who, until now, was minding his own business started attacking me.

I heal in pvp. I can’t kill stuff for the life of me! That running in circles around people thing? I try and try and succeed only in looking like a dumbass.

But, since I was questing, I was in my tanking spec. And because I’m a fortunate idiot, I had forgotten to switch out of the tanking gear I used to kill Chillmaw. So I killed that huntard. I killed him dead and I did it fast. Poor guy didn’t even put a dent in me.

I figured I’d keep karma on my side so I decided against teebagging his corpse. Was tempting though.

I suppose all that good luck was payback for all the times I didn’t gank poor, unsuspecting, lowbie horde. But, um, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy a lottery ticket.

EDIT Oh and I forgot to mention, I pugged a few instances on my lowbie pally and in every one, I had a great tank, a decent healer and pugmates that weren’t assholes. Bet you didn’t see that coming!

EDIT 2: Oh and also, just about every mine I came across was titanium that day. I would say I got about 7 titanium mines without even farming.

15 Things I Learned from my Vacation *with pictures!*

I’m back home now (as a manner of speaking) so I should get back to my regular blog posting shortly. But just before all is back to normal, I thought I should share all the things I learned from my 2 weeks of backpacking around British Columbia. Of course, I learned some interesting things. Such as what to do when you fall out of the boat while white water rafting, why you shouldn’t swim under trees in rivers and the stages of mountain pine beetle infestations. Nothing, however, is more valuable than the life lessons cast upon you while hiking around in the wilderness (and urban wilderness), carrying your own weight on your back. These life lessons, I share with you. Some pictures included.

1 – I am skilled at charming the following: 2 year olds, cats, dogs and llamas (this actually isn’t a very good picture, the photographer wouldn’t wait long enough to take them)

2 – When meeting up with guildies who live on the other side of the country, all of the following will occur:
- I will get a rash on my face from the climate change (yay makeup)
- My new eye makeup remover will make my eyes red and puffy
- I will knock over a table
- I will spill coffee all over myself
So much for trying to not be a stereotypical geeky chick.

3 – Wetsuits never fit. Most of the time they’ll be too small, but every now and again they’ll be a dozen sizes too big. Big wetsuits are easier to put on, but you’ll freeze to death in them.

4 – Nothing forges a bond with a group of Japanese teenagers quite like jumping off a cliff into a Canadian river in the first week of May. Regardless of language, cultural and age boundaries, those who freeze together, stick together.

5 – I have no idea what animal this is, but apparently they cross the road a lot in the Shuswap area.

6 – Quick Dry clothes are the greatest invention in history. Anyone who argues has never been caught by a rain storm followed by a hail storm while mountain biking around the Okanagan.

7 – If you injure yourself during your trip, it will invariably be a part of your body you’re not allowed to complain about.

8 – The Auberdine docks were inspired by the docks in Chase.

Which one of these goes to Stormwind again?

9 – Ashenvale also exists IRL

10 – When traveling alone, avoid reading novels that contain a love story, especially ones with good sex scenes. Especially if you’re staying in the same hostel as 3492384723 super hot german guys. If the frustration doesn’t kill you, it will cause you to go insane.

11- When visiting your Asians friends in Richmond, expect them to bring you to bubble tea…and have you read Japanese fashion magazines…and convince you to eat Spicy Pig’s Ear (which is apparently literally ears from a pig). (Also nevermind the really unflattering picture, this was taken pretty late at night)

12- Stores in Vancouver sell cream that whitens your skin. Why the heck anyone would want do that is beyond me, but apparently it sells very well. I’ll pass tyvm, gimme some bronzer.

13 – Bridges make great picture taking locations. Please admire this view of Vancouver as seen from the Burrard bridge.

14 – Sea Monster Sushi destroys hunger and is delicious for you.

15 – No matter how hard I try to avoid being a typical tourist, sometimes I break down and take pictures next to touristy objects such as the Gastown steamclock. Especially if it means showing off my new sandals. OMG LOOK AT MY NEW SANDALS.

Thus ends my adventures of wearing the same 3 outfits, arguing with bus drivers and complaining about the weather (sidenote: despite all the QQ from locals about how Vancouver gets nothing but rain, Vancouver was the place that gave me the best weather. I EVEN MANAGED TO WEAR A DRESS ONE DAY!)

And now, back to our regular programming.

Oh noes, I missed my Blogiversary!

So my blogiversary came and went. On April 7th, 2009, I made my two first blog posts. Two first highly crappy and embarrassing blog posts that I will not dig up. I completely forgot about the date and now I have to buy myself flowers and chocolate to be forgiven. (I need to upset myself more often, love chocolate and flowers.)

Anyway, because I didn’t do it then, I totally get to indulge in a retrospective post about blogging now. (What’s with the snarky looks? Every excuse is good for indulging in some blogging about blogging! So what if most of my posts are about blogging these days?)

This is a New Agey Blog, I tell you!

One of my favorite posts to write was the one on blogging about ones guild. Overall my message was that while I have my more aggressive moments, for the most part I’m very careful about what I say out of respect for my guildies and because blogging shouldn’t be an alternative to direct communication. I received several comments from bloggers mentioning that blogging had a therapeutic value to them and served as an outlet for frustrations they encounter in game.

My blog is therapeutic for me too, but more in the personal growth department than the outlet department. I know I’m really weird, but I learn a lot about myself from my blog, and I mean a lot. Sure, I write about video games, but taking several hours a few times a week to really ask myself, “what do I think of X, Y, Z?” has some surprising results. I started writing this blog as a way to develop my writing skills and what I’ve discovered is that writing a blog goes way, like waaaaay, beyond simple word typing.

It fits right in with my zen bamboo plants, my incense sticks, my fancy candles, my sounds-of-the-ocean music and complicated yoga positions.

Blogger Elder Project: 5-Man PuG Social Rules

EDIT: I kinda feel bad for not posting anything actually useful for what was supposed to be a helpful event. If you came here looking for some fairly applicable Bossy Pally tips, check out my guide to tanking heroics without running out of mana, some techniques for effective complaining and my holy paladin talents discussion.

So I’m a little last minute with this Blogger Elder post (why isn’t anyone surprised?) But I’m getting it done AND THATS WHAT COUNTS MKAY?

I run a lot of 5-mans PuGs. Being a healer (and if I have to wait longer than 2 minutes in the queue, I magically become a tank) really helps my number of 5-mans:time ratio. I’ve noticed that quite a few people don’t know how to behave in a 5-man PuG. There is some sort of 5-man culture. Tourists unfamiliar with that culture, they stick out.

Due my inability to take anything seriously, I present to all 5-man tourists, a quick run down of social rules in a 5-man. After my quick tips, you’ll never feel out of place in a random PuG again!

1- Greeting your PuGmates is accepted but not encouraged.

It’s ok if you say “hi” at the beginning of the instance. Nothing longer than “hi”. Others may say “hi” as well. It’s not encouraged, though, so don’t come to expect greetings and certainly don’t expect answers. “gogogo” is another acceptable alternative to “hi”. Note: never capitalize. Delete the shift key from your keyboard.

2- As you zone in, type in “might”.

Even if you play a mage and even if there’s no paladin in the party, you should still type “might” as you zone in. If you are feeling particularly social, it’s ok to say “might plz”.

3- After the first pull, do not communicate with your PuGmates unless desperately required.

You can always spot a tourist by their strange small talk. Small talk is a big no-no. If you are grouped with a small talking tourist, look the other way and pretend not to be reading party chat.

4- If you must communicate, use words that are 1 letter or shorter.

“r u r y” is an appropriate sentance, “Are you ready, yes?” is not. The goal here is not to be understood. Besides, everyone is busy pretending not to be reading party chat anyway.

5- Follow each request by “ffs”

Need to ask your healer for a “h” ? “ffs” Want the tank to “p” faster? “ffs” You don’t have a “k” buff? (Whether or not there’s a paladin in the group is irrelevant.) “ffs”

6- If you are dps, during trash, always attack the creature the tank has the least threat on.

Check the tank’s threat level on all the mobs before unleashing and always choose the one where the tank has the least threat. Never attack the tank’s target, always go for the one the tank has the least threat on. If you take too much damage, type “h”. If you die, “ffs”.

7- After a boss kill, if anyone asks if they can need, DO NOT ANSWER!

If you need something, it is acceptable to ask if you can need, but it is not acceptable to respond if someone else asks. If the asker waits for a response, “ffs”.

8- After the last boss, wait to see if anyone rolls need on the orb. If no one does, roll need at the very end.

Some groups might say “roll need” or “r n” at the beginning. In that case, you can roll need the second the boss drops. Also, if another person rolls need before you roll, you can safely go ahead. However, if others are rolling greed, do not roll until the very end! And whatever you do, do not ever greed on orbs.

9- Before leaving group, “thx” is acceptable, but not encouraged.

If you’re an especially nice person, you can say “thx” at the end of the run. If your group was exceptional, you can tell them they were a good group as well by typing “gg”. It’s not encouraged, but no one will hold it against you. Nothing more though! No full words! Only “thx” and “gg”. And like the “hi” you may say at the beginning of the run, it’s completely normal if no one answers.

10- Don’t ever be the last person to leave the group

I don’t know what happens if you’re the last one to leave. I’ve never tried. I’m sure it’s terrible, though. So play safe, leave group ASAP!

With those easy rules, you’ll fit right into random 5-man culture! Say goodbye to awkwardy touristy moments and embrace your new local pugger self!

Of course, if you want some more serious WoW advice, check out Khi’s original post at her blog, The Tree Burglar and her Blogging Elder Project thread at Blog Azeroth.