Posted tagged ‘LFD’

You Can Always Tell When I’ve Been Pugging A Lot

May 14, 2011

The tank left, as many tanks do, after Zul’Garub’s raptor boss. A vote-to-kick popped up to kick our warrior. “Shitty fucking DPS” was the reason.

I glanced at Skada. The warrior was doing a bit above 8k. Not amazing, but stuff was dying fast enough and he wasn’t doing anything stupid. Besides, the other two dps were doing 9k and 11k respectively. If the warrior ranked as “shitty fucking“, then they ranked as just “shitty“.

Our three wipes so far has been due to:

Wipe 1: Tank failing on boulders
Wipe 2: Tank pulling more than he could hold aggro on
Wipe 3: Dps who initiated the vote-to-kick being outside the ring when raptor boss was pulled.

The warrior hadn’t caused any problems yet.

Since there were only 4 of us in the group, the final decision as to whether to kick the warrior or not was left to me.

Times I’ll Use Vote-to-Kick

I rarely kick players for being bad. Mainly because I know I struggle to reach 6k dps myself when playing ret. If I pop all my cooldowns, I might be able to reach 7k for a fraction of a second. If I’m lucky. So unless our weakest link is getting in the way of killing a boss (Grim Batol comes to mind), I don’t care about dps much.

Not actual DPS meters

However, when someone’s pulling 4k while the rest of the group, including the tank, is sitting at 14k, I’ll usually agree if a vote-to-kick is initiated.

I don’t know where the DPS benchmarks should be for heroics, but I do think that if someone’s doing under 5-6k, they’re not quite ready for the leap yet and shouldn’t queuing for them. There is a difference between normal 85s and heroics for a reason. But while it can justify a kick, I don’t think it justifies abuse.

I hate when players abuse each other. I know it’s not a big deal to most of the guys I play with, but if I were abused in a pug, and I wasn’t so confident about my healing ability, I’d be really shaken. (I have encountered, um, strange reactions in pugs, but they always started before the first pull and were so very weird that I suspect those players were stoned. Very stoned.) I’d rather see someone removed than witness verbal abuse. When the target of the abuse is sub-performing, especially if they haven’t gemmed or enchanted their gear, there’s not a whole lot I can do to defend them besides kick them and spare them misery.

Initiating vote-to-kicks, though, is something I will do if a player is being a douchebag and annoying me. I don’t mind carrying players, but I have no tolerance for annoying behaviour. Besides, if a person has no regard for the feelings of others, then I really have no regard for their feelings.

An Anatomy of Douchebaggery

The word “elitism” is tossed around a lot. But in my experience, the players who are the biggest douchebags in pugs aren’t particularly good players themselves. It almost feels like they’re people who’ve been picked on in the past for being bad and jump at the opportunity when they’re in a position to do it to others.

Or they’re people who don’t really understand the game or meters, and are looking to attack before they get attacked. (I actually met a healer who spammed healing meters from 5 mans. Yes, you are going to be on top when you’re the only healer. And a high hps just meant people were taking a lot of damage. No damage, no high hps.)

And wannabes. The wannabes. Players from upper-but-not-top guilds who just don’t have the skill, the focus or the discipline to be excellent. Or players from more casual guilds who assume they’re amazing because they’ve always topped the meters in their raids. These guys are quite possibly the worst culprits in heroics. They play badly, are mouthy and are quick to pry on anyone else.

Penny Arcade’s Internet Fuckwad Theory is often referred to explain douchebag behaviour. Which works if you have a Lord of the Flies view of people. But I have trouble believing the person spewing out bullshit and feeling real’ proud of himself for being such a badass is a “normal person”. Oh, maybe he acts like a normal person when there are consequences to his actions, but, really, if someone over the age of 12 gets pleasure from shitting on others or saying “naughty words”, I quite suspect there being something wrong with them to begin with.

Now, I understand anger and raging. I have quite the temper myself, although I’m more likely to get angry about time-wasting or arrogance than about wipes and mistakes. I’m also a lot more likely to get sarcastic and accusatory than swear or name call. But I understand tempers getting heated. Games are like that. You get involved in them, you use them as a safe outlet for stress and, well, I suspect (but have no proof) that the chemical effect games have on the brain trigger short term aggression or crankiness anyway. I’ll never hold outbursts in raids, pvp or even nasty heroics against people.

But gratuitous abuse? Or “OMG LOOK AT ME I SAID A NAUGHTY WORD IM SUCH A BADASS LOLOLOL!!!111one”? Give me a break.

No it doesn’t offend me. It doesn’t hurt my feelings. It does, however, hurt my eye rolling muscles.

Hindsight Wears Rose-Coloured Glasses

I don’t want comments blaming LFD and saying “things were so much better before LFD“.

Sometimes I wonder if the LFD haters ever tried to pug 5 mans before the system got put in. I pugged alone in Vanilla and in pre-LFD BC. I pugged alone a lot.

Back then, pugging a 5 man alone was an all day event. If your instance wasn’t overly popular at that moment, finding a full group took a few hours. By the time you had your group together, someone would have to leave. Before max level, you didn’t always have the luxury of a tank-healer-3dps so you made do with what you had. You’d wipe a lot. People would often have to leave halfway through and you’d spend up to an hour waiting for a replacement while trying to 4 man the instance. I don’t think I ever finished an instance with the same 4 people I started it with.

Where people nicer and did they talk more?

I vaguely remember that they were and that they did. But when you’re stuck with these people for hours and when replacing them was a disgusting task, you either had to be patient or you didn’t pug.

So I suspect the shitty behaviour in pugs is due more to pugging being available to those who wouldn’t have lasted 5 minutes in the old system. Plus, with the all the incentives from instances nowadays, more players in general are pugging.

And really, I’d rather put up with the occasional douchebag than go back to struggling for hours every time I wanted to do an instance.

Shared Topic: Positive Random Dungeon Stories

March 4, 2010

“Is my DPS high enough?”

Our warlock shyly asked us if she was doing alright. I assured her that stuff was dying fast enough so I was satisfied. Our crazy well-geared and could have gotten away with being arrogant tank agreed with me.

This week’s Shared Topic, as suggested by Zan from Altoholic Anonymous aims to balance out all the pugging horror stories floating around the internet. Links to the other participating posts can be found at Blog Azeroth. Also want to mention that I noticed a few other bloggers coincidentally posting about happy LFD stories earlier this week. I didn’t catch names so please let me know or report to Blog Azeroth so I can link you on the Shared Topic recap at Twisted Nether.

Hey, we're almost all at full health! Must be a good group!

I have talked about how impossibly lucky I am with the LFD before, but since I don’t recycle posts for Shared Topics, I have two newer stories to share.

Back to our warlock, I knew it was a “she” because the instance was Oculus. The date was December 26th, some time before the instance was nerfed. Not that it really matters… Players still instantly drop group upon zoning into Oculus. So yeah, after our first tank immediately dropped, I got to know the rest of my pugmates pretty well. After our second tank immediately dropped, I got to know them even better.

The warlock told us about how excited her kids were with their Christmas presents. She’s a cool (and obviously rich!) mom who got her kids some video games. The DK chimmed in that he and his wife were expecting their first kid in a few months. The rogue let us know that he was a kid. I couldn’t contribute much to that conversation so they looked at my mana and asked if I ever ran out.

Relaxing and chit-chatting made the wait rather enjoyable. It was especially nice that all four of us were coming from completely different worlds, yet we had plenty to talk about.

The wait was getting long, so eventually the DK offered to reforge his weapon and tank for us. Obviously, as soon as he finished reforging, a third tank zoned in. We called the DK back.

Is this one staying?

We burst out laughing and tried to explain to the clueless tank that we’d been stranded at the entrance of Oculus for the past half hour.

Anyway, once we had a tank, we finished the instance in 15 minutes. Utter faceroll.

And the warlock’s DPS?

Who cares?

My other group had a colder start. I had an ominous feeling when the rogue asked for might. Never mind that the warrior tank that was from his guild already had Improved Battle Shout up. (Yes, I realized that there’s something wrong there.) The ominous feeling grew when we wiped a few pulls in. Wiping a few pulls into Utgarde Keep must be a bad sign.

Sure, in a way, the wipe was my fault, I neglected bubbling or healing myself while I was being attacked because I thought I’d have time after getting that big heal out on the rogue. I shrugged.

As I was running back, I got a whisper from the tank.

I’m going to blame the dps for that wipe and deny that it had anything to do with my crappy tanking. I’m just a dps skipping the queue.

Oh dear. I guess that explained the Improved Battle Shout. I confessed that I could have bubbled but didn’t. He was easy to heal (after all, the mobs were beating on the dps and I more than on him), so it was all good. I just vowed to be more careful.

Thankful for my good nature, the tank chatted with me for a bit as we ran the instance. He told me his stories of fail, bragged about his Ulduar tanking gear. He must have been the funniest guy I’ve ever run into in a pug. He may not have had mad tanking skillz, but he certainly made up for it by having me laughing my face off.

And yeah, we got through the rest of UK without any further problems.

How to Crush a Paladin’s Epeen…

December 25, 2009

It’s story time! There can never be too many PuG tales. Every time we think we’ve seen and heard it all, something unthinkable happens and the world must be informed.


I had my epeen sliced and diced and put in the blender yesterday. And I liked it. It was a Pit of Saron random group. (Why do I feel like saying that implies it’ll be a great story?) We had a warrior, we had a shadow priest, we had a rogue and we had a hunter. I assumed the warrior was tanking, but I checked everyone’s health to make sure. Ok, yes, he has the most. Not by much, but it should be enough. Thats the furthest I go. I don’t do gearscore and I don’t manually inspect. In a PuG, I figure I’m stuck with these people for better or for worse. Judging them as we zone in does more harm than good.

We buff, we pull. The rogue insta-dies. The trash goes down ok, not too much damage, looks like it’ll be a decent run.

We clear to the first boss. We pull him. The rogue insta-dies. Seems like we’re taking more damage than usual, but it’s ok, I like some exercise. Oooops, the Spriest has aggro! Quick! Hand of Protection! Ouf! I better salv her, just in case. How’s the hunter doing for aggro? Seems to be ok. Where’s his pet? Oh. At his feet. Well, at least auto-shot seems to working. It was a rough go, it lasted awhile, but we got him down. I still have most of my mana. Not bad, not bad.

Clear some more trash, then time for Krick and Ick! We pull. The rogue insta-dies. The hunter auto-shoots, his pet at his feet. It was a long fight, but it’s ok, I’m always complaining that fights are too short anyway.

Now for the tricky trash part! We pull. The rogue insta-dies. Mobs are flying everywhere! No danger of the hunter or the pet as his feet pulling aggro, but the poor shadow priest carrying us… Hand of Protection! Hand of Salv! Oh dear, oh dear. OMG somehow the hunter is almost dead! Eeeek! Good thing I timed that big heal well! Crap! I’m being attacked all over. Um. Um. Holy Wrath! Bubble Sac! Oh no! Oh no! The priest! Aaaaah the tank! Curse beacon falling off! Aaaaaah!!!! Holy Lights were spammed all over the place, I was on the edge of my seat. I must keep my team alive! I must, I must! Healing Anub’arak 10 on hard mode is cake compared to this!

Slowly the damage lessened. Despite clever use of Divine Plea and Divine Illumination, I was almost completely drained of mana. I was sweaty and shaking. And, oh!, how I was feeling smug. “God, I’m awesome.” I thought to myself. “I can’t believe I just healed through that. I love me.” Surely, they will compliment me on this incredible feat of strength!

Fat chance! I used the rest of my juice to rez the rogue and I sat down to drink. “Mana!” I called out.

Mana shmana,” thought the tank, who ran ahead to pull the next group.

There was no point in even getting up. There’s no way I would have time to reach him. Besides, it’s not like I had any mana to use on him anyway. I exhaled, closed my eyes and let death take me.

“Attack the bone guy next time” ordered the tank.

I rolled my eyes. “Wait for the healer next time.”

I expected an apology, but, yeah, I have really unreasonable expectations. And I think healer text is only visible to other healers anyway. The tank completely ignored me.

“That guy hits like a truck”

I tried again: “He does. So why did you pull without me?”

Yeah, invisible healer text. It’s ok, I know I’m amazing and wonderful. I mentally stroke my epeen for a bit as I’m drinking.

When I’m done, we get into position. We pull. The rogue insta-dies. The tank gets two-shotted. Legit wipe. I admit defeat and ask for a shackle this time. Luckily the shadow priest must be a part time healer because she completely got the message and made excellent use of her shackle. The rogue insta-died a few more times with following pulls, but we reached the cave.

The cave was…like…nothing I had ever experienced before. We ran in. The rogue insta-died. The ground was littered in blue runes. The poor hunter with his pet at his feet. He must have been tossed around by every single piece of falling snow. But unless they get one-shotted, I don’t abandon my teammates. I kept him alive each time! As I’m running and dodging, casting any heals I could get out, I see the poor shadow priest almost dying. Nooooo! Hand of Protection! Uh oh, the mobs are coming for me now! Um. Um. Um. Holy wrath! Bubble sac! I vaguely wonder why the tank isn’t tanking any damage… I shrug and place my beacon on the shadow priest instead.

For what seemed like an eternity, I did everything right. I used Lay on Hands at the right moment. I kept Hand of Protection and Hand of Salv on cooldown. Whenever my greater heals were interrupted by the dozens of zombies eating me, I cast Holy Wrath and ran to the tank. I used every trick in the book to avoid running out of mana. Going by how many times I cast Hand of Protection, the fight lasted at the very least 6 minutes. 6 minutes of intensity. 6 minutes of deep focus. 6 minutes of spamming Holy Light between running. 6 minutes of having my face eaten by ghouls. I kept all 4 of us alive, using every trick in the book.

By the time we reached the end of the cave and the shadow priest had cleared the trash, my epeen had become the longest epeen in epeen history. Surely, they will thank me now! They will congratulate me! They will wonder how I managed this awesomeness! They will write songs in my honour!

The tank turned to me and spoke in party chat. Excited to receive approval, I turned to read it. What followed was the most extreme epeen crushing I had ever experienced, yet, at the same time, it completely made my day.

Tank: u need mor spirt
Me (not sure if I read it right): Spirit?
Tank: ya
Me: Um…
Tank: so wut if i forgt n i
Me: Paladins don’t use spirit.
Tank: u need wuteve u use 4 mana regen u run out of mana so fast

Well, I did have my ego obliterated, but it was worth it. So worth it. I can’t believe I forgot to take a screenshot.

I’ve never been so proud to claim that I’m a fail paladin. Damn my lack of spirt!


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